I don’t actually give a fu…

Recently, I was in Las Vegas during Halloween. While standing in the elevator at The Fountainbleau Hotel, a group of inebriated revelers were also headed up. They were chatty and engaging. They were also in town to celebrate a 60th birthday and, in the spirit of recognizing two holidays simultaneously, requested I say, “trick or treat”. Upon this directive, one of them reached into a plastic bag and dropped a series of tiny, paper f@cks into my hand, advising I shouldn’t give one and if I was feeling particularly silly or randy, I should toss one across the room to inform the world I didn’t give a flying f*ck. Amused, I not only returned to my room to memorialize the moment with a photo, but also for a laugh and further consideration of what they advised in that brief interaction. Suddenly, in that act of creatively commemorating, I realized…Call off the dogs…Having an epiphany…Alert The Thought Police…

I don’t, actually, anymore. I can say it loud and proud…

I don’t give a f*ck about anybody’s opinion as it no longer affects my perception of myself or reality.

I think I am growing. Or aging, as we all are. I heard one of the benefits of AARP eligibility is that a person no longer cares what the world thinks. And hello, Universe, I’m in that demographic of neutrality…

I’m not being completely honest. There are some elements of social interaction of which I am still very committed. For example, I’m a pretty basic person. I like to save drama for the page and the stage (I’m on the board responsible for special events at my local theater, so I have started thinking thoughts in a more theater in the round inspired way!). That said, I am very intentional with my words because I am a writer, because I know the currency of positive speech, and because words are the most important facet of my life. Anybody who knows me knows how I use them effectively and positively every time I open my mouth or place my fingers on the keyboard. That said, I also believe very simply (and possibly inspired by my early years in a Mafia town like Las Vegas) “I don’t give it, therefore I am not willing to take it.” The Mafia may perceive their motto as willing to take without giving, but those are semantics to analyze for another time..

I like things the way I like them.

I get really offended when people say things that are acerbic, hurtful, and insensitive. I think it’s unnecessary and counterintuitive to do when forging friendships. Destroying relationships, sure, have at it. But, if you allegedly want me to consider you an ally, it’s best to only speak kindly without saying things I might construe as cruel. I don’t say mean things to you and as I am a wordsmith by profession, I could in a way that could really do damage. I think behavior like that is egregious and again, I leave harsh words for characters in my scripts when I want to create conflict in my “reel” world. In my “real” world, I have to keep everything light, delightful, and pleasant if I want to be effective when crafting stories for sale.

So, with these sentiments, I go back to my writing, realizing I don’t give a f%ck about what anybody thinks about me, about what I say, and, most importantly, about what I write. I love my scripts and I am humbled by my ability to create them. If there is an audience for my thoughts, great. And if not, I’m open to criticism about what I WRITE, no longer about WHO I am…

I just don’t give a f…